still alive
Love makes me feel insane
But I can’t imagine not waking up next to him.
Frankly, I don’t want to imagine it.
Do it or don’t do it — you will regret both.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
I am so in love that I barely recognize myself. I was sitting at Waffle House this morning with my boyfriend and a couple of our roommates after impulsively hopping out of bed, meeting in the living room and decided to go eat and get wine, champagne and candy and hang out and drink all day when I realized that life is actually good. Like, really good. At least for now. Maybe it’s not perfect, but it’s mine and I get to spend it with lovely human beings who affirm each other and support each other and laugh together. I’ll admit, sometimes I get caught up in my own misanthropy or routine or whatever and I’ll forget how beautiful things can be. This last year has been an absolute whirlwind and even if we’re nose diving straight to WWIII, I am counting my blessings.
I hope this feeling stays forever, even if sometimes it’s just hiding in a corner.
As long as your words survive, then you lived and you mattered and you changed the world and I cannot remember your name.
The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.
2016
What we lost in the fire, we’ll find in the ashes